I'm loath to admit this, but I fear it's true: Rude people project more authority and tend to get ahead in their careers. According to research by Gerben Van Kleef of the University of Amsterdam published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, rude people aren't constrained by the usual rules and forge their own paths. AOL Jobs reports about the findings:
Powerful people smile less, interrupt others, and speak in a louder voice. Perhaps it's subconscious, or perhaps powerful people know full well that when they don't respect the basic rules of social behavior, they lead others to believe that they have power--that they can afford to be above the rules that others feel obliged to follow.
Not smiling, shouting, and generally being unpleasant and disrespectful--does this ring a bell? How many of you have been around those types at your firm? I know I have.
I remember working for a boss who'd get up abruptly in the middle of a meeting, grab a magazine, and go into his private bathroom--while the rest of us sat awkwardly waiting for the toilet to flush. Or the partner who stared at me in icy silence as I blabbed away trying to explain my research.
So what's the point of behaving rudely? Well, it's a way of asserting control and superiority by treating others as if they don't count. It's a pure power play.
And it seems to work. Van Kleef's research shows that people thought more highly of rude people than the polite ones. Rude people were perceived to be more likely to "get to make decisions," "get people to listen," and "get others to do what he wants."
Can everyone play this game? Of course not. Generally, you can afford to be rude only to those below you in the food chain--it's a way to carve out your turf, instill fear in those who work for you so that they perform at maximum capacity and make you look good.
And another thing: Successful rude people also know when to turn on the charm. They might treat associates, secretaries, and weaker partners like dirt, but when it comes to clients or those more powerful, they are the sweetest, most solicitous people on earth.
What do you think? Do rude people have an edge?
Do you have topics you'd like to discuss or tips to share? E-mail The Careerist's chief blogger, Vivia Chen, at VChen@alm.com.
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"Conscience is the most changeable of virtues." (Black's Law Dictionary)
If "the celebrity of success" is what our society honors, is it any surprise that "winners" are judged by what they accumulate, not what they accomplish?
Posted by: Robin Lane | August 28, 2011 at 03:44 PM
I think there's a difference between being assertive and rude. I've dealt with both types. I typically find that the ruder a person is, the more insecure they are about their abilities. The more agressive ones are just passionate people who are, more often than not, right.
Posted by: Anita | June 16, 2011 at 10:49 AM
Over the short term rude people can get what they want. However over the long haul the old saying about being careful who you meet on the way up, because you are sure to meet them on the way down applies. Bullies inevitably burn out.
Posted by: Jim | June 9, 2011 at 04:37 PM
Thank you for writing about this topic, Vivia. At first glance, being assertive to the point of rudeness does seem to "work," and so the practice is perpetuated. However, although it may be a successful strategy in the short-term, I doubt it is successful in the long-term. For instance, while rude bosses may garner compliance from subordinates in the short-term, they won't get long-term loyalty from their subordinates. When something goes wrong, ill-treated subordinates and colleagues will turn on a rude boss quickly. Further, in today's economy partners don't need compliant associates; they need confident associates who can come up with innovative ideas that will serve client, and therefore firm, needs. Confidence comes from security. Rudeness and similar behaviors undermines security.
There are other costs of rudeness. Stress, for instance, is estimated to cost American businesses between $50 and $300 billion each year in absences, lost productivity, health care costs, etc. Rudeness is stressful not just for the recipient, but for the perpetrator as well.
I think this is another example of how, by thinking more long-term, our society and our businesses can improve.
Posted by: Tammy | June 9, 2011 at 10:57 AM
Assertive people always have an advantage over "nice" people in getting what they want. We don't need a reseach study to tell us that. Heck, most of us learned that in kindergarten.
Posted by: Doug Sauber | June 8, 2011 at 08:08 AM