What would you do if you're a law student desperate for cash, or a laid-off lawyer who's exhausted the usual channels of making a decent living? Don't be judgmental now.
You know what I'm leading to: sex. Or, to put it a bit more delicately, leveraging your body.
But how? Judging from two recent news items, men and women have very different options in this arena. Which one is worse? You decide.
My first reaction was that men have it so much easier: When Boston attorney Ben Seisler was a struggling law student ten years ago, he made money by taking a detour to the sperm bank, reports The Boston Globe:
Seisler averaged $150 per donation and said the transaction seemed pretty uncomplicated.“They told me I’d be anonymous,’’ said Seisler, who donated sperm at the Fairfax Cryobank in Virginia to help defray his law school bills from George Mason University.
For women, the body trade isn't nearly as pleasant--or quick. Recently, MSNBC's The Red Tape chronicled a laid-off lawyer who's now working as a topless dancer in a "medium-size city." (Hat tip: Above the Law) Here's how MSNBC describes her plight:
"I went around to see if could get a job as cocktail waitress, but there was not a single retail or waitress job. No one was hiring, except for the topless places," she said. “It was an act of desperation.”
She started out serving drinks as a waitress, but moved quickly to dancing "because that's where the money is, and that's what I needed."
On an average day, she earns $20 an hour, but on a good weekend night, she might pull in $50 an hour–enough to get her finances back on track. She can set her own hours, which means she can squeeze in reading and writing papers around her work schedule.
How wonderful she's got flex-time. But here's what gets me: She's making $50 an hour tops, while the sperm donor is getting $150 for a few minutes of work! How unfair is that?
Wait, there's more: Seisler, who is now part of a reality program on family reunions, has fathered at least 70 kids to date (he signed on with an online sperm donor registry, and has been fielding a steady stream of inquiries from the families of his biological children). "Based on his calculations," reports The Globe, Seisler estimates that he's fathered "between 120 and 140 [kids].’’ Because he's nice-looking, athletic, and a professional, Seisler was considered a hot donor.
Adding to the complication is the fact that Seisler, 33, is about to get married, and his fiancée is not taking all this too well. Reports the Globe:
In the show, as they prepare for their wedding, Seisler’s fiancée is clearly miffed about his situation, especially when he tells her on camera that the number is up to 70. She can barely bring herself to refer to them as “children.’’ (She prefers “offspring.’’)
“What if they all come knocking?’’ she asks Seisler, angrily. “I kind of deem it selfish. Did you think of the consequences that would come out of this?’’
Compared to Seisler, the lawyer who's now a topless dancer has a far less complicated situation. Her new vocation (which she says is temporary) might not impress most law firms, but at least it's something she can walk away from.
She also tells MSNBC that working in her new job "is less hostile than any law office she’s worked in." In fact, she's discovered the power of female bonding: "I thought the other women I worked with would be competitive and not supportive. . . . But my female coworkers are the best coworkers I've ever had."
So whose shoes (is that the right word?) would you rather be in?
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Do you have topics you'd like to discuss or tips to share? E-mail The Careerist's chief blogger, Vivia Chen, at VChen@alm.com.
Dirk doesn't speak for a lot of men, even for those of us who are admittedly too horny for our own good. I've made more than my share of testosterone-fueled (i.e., bad) decisions, and even I find Dirk offensive. Sperm donation wins over stripping, any day (or night) of the week, and almost for any amount of money.
Posted by: DrewF | October 16, 2011 at 11:18 PM
@ M. Bradwell. "She doesn't make $150/night, these aren't 8 hour shifts."
Actually, M, the article is silent as to the length of the shifts. The dancer says she "makes her own hours." That means they could be 8 hour shifts, or 16 hour shifts since most of these clubs are open from late morning until the wee hours of the night. She only needs to work 7 1/2 hours to average $150/day. If she works less, its her choice, or, as someone like you would say, the fault of the patriarchy.
Posted by: DirkJohanson | October 1, 2011 at 12:01 PM
Plus there is pressure on guys to enjoy strip clubs because they have to be this masculine, overly sexual machine (or there is something wrong with them apparently???). A guy only wanting one woman and being happy with that, is said to have a mental problem. Who can handle that kind of pressure? So strip clubs and sexual exploitation whether excepted by the woman or not will never change.
Posted by: web design Landon | September 26, 2011 at 02:51 AM
And less hostile than a law firm environment may be the textbook example of "low hurdle".
Posted by: web design Landon | September 26, 2011 at 12:15 AM
There wouldn't be more female strippers and strip clubs out there if men weren't such horn dogs. I'm not saying all guys are like this but the ratio for strip clubs and horny men is huge. Plus there is pressure on guys to enjoy strip clubs because they have to be this masculine, overly sexual machine (or there is something wrong with them apparently???). A guy only wanting one woman and being happy with that, is said to have a mental problem. Who can handle that kind of pressure? So strip clubs and sexual exploitation whether excepted by the woman or not will never change.
Posted by: darkthoughtsdarkdeeds | September 21, 2011 at 03:45 PM
Indeed desperate times call for desperate measures.
Posted by: Stephanie | September 21, 2011 at 07:20 AM
The problem... is with the question.
Vivia, you have skewed the playing field, and as a result, trapped people like Dirk, into playing the role you envisioned for them, and goaded those who are female, into playing the role you have envisioned.
Maybe if the question was such that, you asked the reader to compare being a stripper (and yes, there are places where a man can be a stripper... I've been asked to do so, and said no, it was in a gay club.. .and I'm not gay) in either sex: hands-down, you'll get more women comfortable with it than you will men. And, that's a statistical bet I'll take A N Y D A Y!
As for the biological-material donation/sale: again, hands-down, you'll get more women comfortable with it than you will men. And, this one's purely economics: thousands (female) v. hundreds (male).
Come on Vivia... you need to present somethings that are comparable before you start crying unfairness... otherwise, isn't it just an enterprise at building a strawman... and woosh, when you blow, he falls.
Posted by: D | September 19, 2011 at 12:15 PM
Dirk, you really aren't that good at math. She doesn't make $150 on a standard night, these aren't 8-hour shifts and $20/hr. is her norm. Also, egg donation is much harder and more physically dangerous and the process for extracting eggs is extremely painful. Not only that, but the fee is per extraction, not per harvested egg.
Posted by: M. Bradwell | September 19, 2011 at 10:01 AM
poverty has driven many women to take to prostitution as a means to livelihood.This is unfortunate.Society needs to rehabilitate them.But it is too much to expect in this selfish world.
Posted by: Asad khan | September 18, 2011 at 08:42 PM
Apples to oranges.
Here are apples to apples:
Women get paid $10K for eggs, guys only $150 for sperm.
Any passable woman can find a club to strip in, guys have almost no shot at a stripping job.
As usual, women have the advantages, yet still the complaints. Why is there no satisfying women? And since there is no satisfying them, why should guys ever try?
Posted by: DirkJohanson | September 18, 2011 at 08:00 AM
Of course, if Vivia were a guy, its a lot less likely she'd be asking such a ridiculous question. Instead of comparing sperm donation to stripping, she'd be comparison sperm donation to egg donation. Women typically get $5,000-10,000 a single egg, whereas guys get a lousy $150 for a sperm donation of millions of sperm.
If Vivia were rational, unlike most women and like most guys, she'd compare female stripping to male stripping. The woman in this article makes about $50/hour, and is anonymous likely because she earns cash and pays no taxes. Stripping jobs for guys, on the other hand, are few and far between. In my metro area, there are more female strip clubs - most with 50 or more dancers - than stripping jobs in total for guys.
But, heck, why get in the way of women making up a ridiculous comparison and then claiming a grievance.
Posted by: DirkJohanson | September 17, 2011 at 07:32 PM
Anne,
The woman has the opportunity to make more money a day and is no less objectified than the guy who ANONYMOUSLY gave sperm and whose sperm was sold based upon the objective criteria the women who bought his sperm selected.
The woman converses with the customers of the club, person-to-person, and they try to get to know her and ask her out. The guy is nothing but the liquid he produces.
Most hot chicks like to be ogled. I have been barked at by strippers for NOT ogling them sufficiently. And the guy can only make so much money since there is only so much sperm he can donate, and it works out to far less than the woman.
Finally, I'm not sure what planet you are on, but there is no stigma associated with stripping anymore.
Posted by: DirkJohanson | September 17, 2011 at 07:11 PM
Come on. Topless dancing isn't sex. It isn't even close to sex. It's constitutionally protected expressive speech. It's not Ulysees, Lady Chatterley's Lover, my cup of tea or, evidently, yours, but that's just a matter of taste.
Posted by: Reader | September 17, 2011 at 05:04 PM
A sperm donor and a reality TV star? This guy's got such a teflon conscience -- not to mention an inability to connect (what did he think they were gonna use his, um, donations for?) -- that he's clearly management material. And less hostile than a law firm environment may be the textbook example of "low hurdle".
Posted by: Bill Smith | September 17, 2011 at 07:00 AM
I'll stay with my sales job while taking law classes....skip the NoVa
"create a kid" mill and stay far away from "gentleman's clubs"...no platinum blonde hair dye either! Thanks for the reality check...
Posted by: Ronique Breaux jordan | September 17, 2011 at 04:57 AM
This is a joke, right. THe guy has no enforceable obligation to these offspring.
The woman is paid less, she is objectified, oggled, etc. She is subject to post job humiliation, etc
You think these situations are remotely the same?.
Posted by: Anne | September 17, 2011 at 04:37 AM
I'd rather be in her shoes. 140 donations at $150 each means that he's only earned the equivalent of 10 weeks of her work. Very unfair.
Posted by: DirkJohanson | September 16, 2011 at 01:59 PM