Our news roundup this week focuses on sex. Interested? Of course, you are:
1. How to have sex with clients. Finally, we are getting some guidance on this vital issue! Though I peeked at this issue in the past ("A Guide for Lawyers Who Lust"), I'm so glad that Big Law partners are now offering their expertise.
McKenna Long & Aldrige partners J. Randolph Evans and Shari Klevens give sage advice to those in temptation. Here what I got out of their article in Daily Report:
1. Start the sex before you take on the job. Preexisting sexual relationships are cool under ABA Model Rule 1.8(j), which states: "a lawyer shall not have sexual relations with a client unless a consensual relationship existed between them when the client-lawyer relationship commenced."
2. Don't start the affair in middle of representation—especially if you represent both parties in the divorce. In one example, a Mississippi lawyer and the wife-client started an affair while he was representing both husband and wife. Though it was more than sheer lust (the lawyer and wife-client eventually married each other), the lawyer got slapped with a $1.5 million judgment for "alienation of affection, breach of contract and intentional infliction of emotional distress."
3. But if you've already violated rule #2, stop ASAP (the legal representation, not necessarily the sex). Even then, cautions the McKenna Long partners, it might be too late. In one example, a lawyer got a 15 month suspension even though he stopped both the personal and professional relationship two days after the affair started.
Data from the London Sp*rm Bank (LSB) reveals that finance workers are some of the most prolific spreaders of their seed. On average, 36 finance professionals visit the bank every month. This puts them on a par with students.
Dr. Kamal Ahuja, managing director of the LSB, told eFinancialCareers that a lot of those finance professionals are refusing to be compensated: “They want to donate and to make a gesture—like blood donors.”
And guess who are the biggest buyers of this product? Female finance workers! How incestuous is that?
Hey, shouldn't they just hook up and skip the middleman? (eFinancialCareers.com)
3. Good news: New Yorkers can now procreate with a wider range of people. Ladies, you no longer have to line up for the precious sperm of that Goldman Sachs banker or the Cravath partner. And gentlemen, you no longer have to save yourself for that Victoria Secret's model who's also a member of MENSA.
That's because New York private schools are eliminating the ERBs! If you must ask, that's the dreaded test that every four or five-year old has had to take to get into a respectable private kindergarten. Part IQ test, part spatial reasoning, and all voodoo, the ERBs have been making New York parents crazy for decades. Now that it's no longer a factor in getting your future child into the right school, you can relax about the gene pool. (The New York Times)
4. How far does this idea go? Okay, this has nothing to do with sex, unless you think Americans are also exceptional in the sack. But Cass Sunstein, a professor at Harvard Law School, offers a fascinating history of the whole messy concept of American Exceptionalism. (Bloomberg View)
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