Need a break from all that dreadful, depressing news that’s blanketing us as we head for the end of summer? Of course, you do. I know I do. So let’s turn to another carefully curated edition of irrelevant news and gossip:

She’s back! Claudia Conway! George and Kellyanne have a lot on their hands—and we’re not talking about their marriage or their respective day jobs. We’re talking about their highly independent 15-year old daughter Claudia, a self-declared “radical agnostic liberal/leftist” and anti-Trumpster. Last we checked in on the Conway household, her ‘rents had shut down her social media activities after Claudia mocked her mom’s boss, posted videos of herself arguing with her mom and hinted that her parents’ marriage was in trouble.

Claudia is back (image from her Twitter account on left)—and outdoing herself. On July 29, she tweeted to New York Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez, “@AOC adopt me.” On August 6, she posted to her nearly 200,000 (and growing) followers, “how do i get in touch with pro bono lawyers.”

It’s unclear if there’s a connection between the two tweets, but it’s apparent that the mother-daughter relationship is hitting a rough patch. The Daily Mail reports that a viewer posted, “Claudia Conway just went live on tiktok and talked about how her mother has physically and emotionally abused her for years and had her arrested for fake assault charges a few weeks ago.” (Though Claudia deleted the original post, she later reposted what the viewer wrote. So what does that mean?)

I don’t know if Claudia is yanking her parents’ chains or if she’s seriously looking for legal recourse (parental emancipation?), but her followers are flooding her with suggestions. Some offer serious advice: “Contact the Bar Association in your area. They should have a list. Also try Public Defender’s office and Legal Aid.” Others not so serious: “Paging @RudyGiuliani.” Another suggested Alan Dershowitz.

Rudy or Dersh? Oh, Claudia, I think you can do much better. My suggestion: Ted Boutrous, an ardent anti-Trumpster who famously offered pro bono services to those whose free speech rights have been threatened by Trump. I know that’s not precisely Miss Conway’s situation but I’m sure something can be worked out. All things considered, why settle for has-beens when you can get a litigator with star power?

But who’s footing this Big Law bill for Kayne West? Speaking of pro bono (or not), hip-hop superstar Kayne West is getting help from Republican lawyers in at least four states to gain ballot access for November’s presidential election. And at least one of those lawyers is from an Am Law 100 firm.

She’s Lane Ruhland, a senior counsel at Husch Blackwell, a firm that represents Donald Trump in a defamation suit against an NBC News-affiliated local station. According to Vice, Ruhland was spotted by a local news station personally dropping off signatures that would qualify West for his presidential bid in Wisconsin, a state that Trump won by only 23,000 votes in 2016.

By all accounts, West needs all the help he can get. “His one campaign appearance was meandering and semi-coherent, leading observers to question his mental health, and his nascent team has struggled to qualify him in a number of key states,” reports Vice.

A onetime Trumpster, West is no longer enamored with the president. Trump, however, is holding no grudge and helping him as much as possible. (Query: Is Trump footing the bill for Ruhland’s hands-on service, or is West a pro bono case?) As NBC reports, Trump retweeted an article in July that said Kanye could “siphon Black votes from Biden, writing that it ‘shouldn’t be hard’ for West to do.”

So Ruhland is doing double duty—representing the president on his private matters while working overtime to get one of his rivals on the ballot. How gallant. And Republicans have reputations for not caring about Black voters. So unfair.

Attention real estate lawyers: Death to “master.” Next time you draft a purchase agreement for a snazzy house in the Hamptons for one of your VIP clients, be careful of your bedroom terminology. What’s now verboten are terms with racist or sexist overtones.

“Master” bedroom is now a no-no, reports The New York Times. The reason is that it suggests slavery and male privilege. Tanna Young, a real estate agent in Houston, told the Times that “‘master’ evoked images of pre-Civil War plantation life.”

The preferred term now is “primary”—as in “primary bedroom” or “primary bathroom”—a term that’s supposed to be free of baggage. (But doesn’t “primary” suggest dominance? Just askin’.)

But it’s not just “master” that’s on the chopping block. The Times article notes that “his” and “hers” bathrooms are also now suspect. The preferred term is now “shared.”